Here's an excerpt for today:
I was on the elliptical getting my sweat on when my cell phone rang. Mrs. Alma had gotten to work by then so she grabbed it and brought it to me and put it on speaker.
“Run, your mouth,” I said.
“Sassy, um, I was calling to give you Ma’s funeral arrangements.” It was Danny. I hopped down off the elliptical and took the phone from Mrs. Alma. I walked over to my desk and listened as he told me the information. “Thanks, sweetie, I really appreciate you calling me.”
“I could tell that you cared about Ma so I thought you should be able to say goodbye to her.”
I told him to let me know if he needed anything before we ended the call. It had been years since I had been to a funeral and I wasn’t really looking forward to going to another one but I wanted to do it for Danny.
I went home and took another shower after my workout and made it back to the office just in time to meet Maurice Bryant in the parking lot. He said that he recognized me from my Facebook page. I guess the social media thing was paying off.
Maurice was a couple inches taller than I with almost the same build. He was basically a male version of me and if I didn’t know any better I would have thought we were related.
“You look a lot nicer in person.”
“I’m not always that serious. That was my business face.”
We shared a laughed. Dang, we kind of sounded the same. Creepy. Well they did say everyone had a twin. Maybe Maurice was mine, sort of. I asked him if he had any more information to tell me about his ex-wife that I needed to know about.
“Last I heard she was stripping at some club on Brooks Road,” he said, sitting down across from me. He handed me a picture of her. She kind of looked like Lisa Raye when she played Diamond on Player’s Club. I am completely heterosexual but I couldn’t help but to notice how her behind swallowed the red g-string she wore. “Her name is Diane but she goes by Lady D.”
“Okay, so you’re trying to get custody of your kids. Boy and a girl?”
“Two girls. I don’t want Diane teaching them her nasty ways. Don’t look at me that way. I know you think I’m crazy. I know most men would think that this is a man’s dream come true. But I am a man of God and I think things like this should be kept in the bedroom.”
Okay, that answered my unspoken question. He didn’t like the fact that his former wife was shaking her money maker for the masses. I mean I could see him having an issue with the drugs and maybe even the alcohol. As far as the dancing, I mean I’m sure other strippers have raised well rounded children. Maybe…
“Will you take the case?”
“I’ve never turned down a challenge.”
I printed out the contract for him to sign and handed it to him. While Maurice read the paper work, I went on Facebook and updated my profile picture. I hoped that maybe I would get more business if I had a happy photo. Maurice put a cashier’s check on top of the signed form. I did a double take at the check.
“This is twice as much as my fee.”
“Think of it as a tip for having to go into the den of iniquity.”
I shook his hand and walked him to the door. “I’ll see what I can do but didn’t the judge know that Diane was doing all of these things when you got divorced?”
“That’s just it. I never had any proof and she showed up to court looking like the first lady of the church.”
“What about the flyer?”
“Someone just sent me that as a sick joke, as if I was interested in such vile things.”
I wanted to burst out laughing but I remained professional. Brother Maurice wasn’t as saved as he said he was. I’m sure he could have looked through photo albums or scrapbooks and found any picture of Diane but he chose to print out the booty picture. Of course he may have just been trying to make a point.