Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Relationship Stance: Traditional vs Modern

I guess my view of how a relationship should be is in between traditional and modern. I mean, every guy I date knows how to cook so we take turns doing that. As far as working and paying bills, I think we should do that together as well. I’ve never had the desire to be a housewife, but I would have liked to stay at home with my son his first two years but I wasn’t in a position to do so because I’m a single mother. I had a career before my son was born so I couldn’t just stop working, I didn’t have that big of a support team.

My original plan was to be married before I had a child but that didn’t transpire, so I’m making the best of it. Now I have one guy who seriously wants to marry me but he has no job and he lives with his mom. He’s never lived on his own, well let me clarify that. He’s had roommates, live-in girlfriends, a brother and cousins that he’s shared a place with. There was never a time when he was the only one responsible for taking care of all the bills. I have a problem with that. I’ve worked continuously since my last two months in high school (17 years ago) and I have lived on my own for more than half of that time. Yeah, it is hard out here for a sister but I do what I gotta do.

Over the years, I’ve found myself in relationships with guys that didn’t have a job when I met them but I got with them anyway thinking that maybe I could help them get on their feet. I learned the hard way that some guys really don’t want to work. They rather stay at home and keep the house clean and cook while the woman goes to work. This is where my traditional views come in. I do not consider a man the head of my household if he cannot pay the house note. Some women have a problem with allowing the man to make most of the decisions for the household, but I don’t if I believe that he will do what is best for the family. I mean, if we have been together for a while and the guy loses his job, I won’t kick him out because he has shown me that he wants to pull his weight. Of course, he’s gonna have to go do something to bring in some money: cut grass, wash cars work at McDonalds—until he finds something better.

I talked to a lady on Twitter a few days ago and she said she shared my views with a couple of guys and they said they couldn’t be with a woman that couldn’t hold it down. Now that made me mad because either she or they didn’t read all of my tweets or those guys are just bums. I go to work every day and I work too hard and put up with too much mess at work to come home and look up in the face of some guy that can’t even pay the damn phone or cable bills. That makes me hot all over. If the fact that I won’t take care of a man the reason why I’m single, I’ll be single for life. I’m not teaching my son that he’s supposed to stay at home while his wife goes to work every day. They should be working together to have something.

Despite my traditional views, I don’t even think it’s a good idea for a woman not to have some kind of job. She needs to be selling Avon, doing hair or babysitting to bring some money in. My dad always told me that an idle mind is the devil’s workshop. This means, if a person doesn’t have anything constructive to do, they will be thinking of all kinds of devilment to do.

These are my opinions but everyone is entitled to their own. Please share your views with me.


varrsity said...

Understood. I want my partner to have something to strive for and be passionate about something as well. I'm now learning that not everyone is as motivated and willing to work hard for what they want, and that is where the problems start to trickle down. Some people, well, all people need to be doing something, because like your father said "An idle mind is the devils workshop." Nice post

Susie McCray said...


I'm glad you liked my post.

I wish more people had a get up and go attitude. It's sad that a lot of people spend more time trying to hustle something out of somebody than they do working for it and getting it themselves.

ShayShay said...

Right as usual. I wouldn't mind a work-from-home hubby :)

Susie McCray said...


Well, if he wasn't around the house ALL the time I could probably go for it. ...Maybe