Saturday, February 19, 2011

Let's Straighten It Out

This is part three of "To Serve and Protect". Check out part one and part two if you haven't already.

Calvin said that he had acted so crazy because he was upset about us not having children. He said that since he came from a big family, where each one of his siblings had at least two kids, he had always felt like his life wasn't complete. Calvin knew that I hadn't been on birth control since we got married, so he went to the doctor to find out if something was wrong with him. He had been told that he had a low sperm count. As a teenager, he had lost one testicle in an accident and had obviously damaged the other one as well.

"Okay, let me get this straight," I said. "You went loony tunes because we don't have kids. I didn't know that it was that big of a deal to you, especially since you always had your nieces and nephews around."

"It's just no the same as having your own. I didn't tell you how I felt because I didn't think you would understand how important it was to me."

"You still should have told me. Then we could have avoided all of this chaos. We could have talked to some doctors and found out what our options were. How do you know there isn't something wrong with me? But the main thing I have a problem with is the fact that you hit me, Calvin. I don't know if I can forgive you for that."

"I'm sorry, sweetie, it's just that when you accused me of cheating, I felt insulted. I would never disrespect you that way."

"So you think waking me up in the middle of the night, with a gun to my head was respectful. How do you see the logic in that?"

"There's nothing I can say to justify what I did to you," he said quietly. "Just let me see you. You know I can make it up to you."

"I don't know. I guess I could meet you at the park or something."

"That'll be fine. I love you, baby."

"That's what your mouth says."

"I can prove it."

Jeremy was very upset about Calvin calling. "You told me you changed your number because you didn't want to talk to him anymore," Jeremy said, pacing in front of the couch where I sat.

"I didn't want to talk to him. Remember when I told you that Calvin was friends with my sister's boyfriend? He probably gave him my new number."

"Uh huh."

"I'm serious. I didn't give Calvin my number. I hadn't even talked to him since I left."

Jeremy stopped pacing and looked directly into my eyes, "Do you miss him?"


"What do you want to do?"

"I don't know yet." I wanted to tell him that I had agreed to meet with Calvin, but decided not to. I didn't want him to talk me out of it.

I thought a million thoughts on my way to see Calvin. Then, I made up my mind to go back to him. I had to try at least one more time, otherwise, I would always wonder about what could have been. Halfway through the twenty-five minute drive, I gave Marie a call. I wanted to get her input on my choice.

"Now you already know I think you should tell Calvin to kiss your behind and stay with Jeremy, but I'm sure you've already made up your mind," my friend said.

"Well, yeah, but I'd still like to know what you think about it."

"You need to do something to get back at that fool. The way he treated you, I'm surprised you didn't kill him."

"I didn't want to go to that extreme. You probably wouldn't have visited me if I went to jail."

"You know that I ain't with that jailhouse stuff. I would have sent you some money though to buy cigarettes or soap or whatever."


"But you need to do something to let him know you ain't to be played with."

Yeah something, but what? As I pulled into the parking space at Overton Park, I noticed Calvin sitting in his van. I got out of my car, walked over and got in with him. We resumed our conversation that we began on the phone. Calvin mentioned the fact that since we wouldn't be able to have children, he would have liked to adopt.

"Or I could get artificially inseminated," I said.

"Yea, that's a good idea. Do you want to do that?"

"Too late, I'm already pregnant." I looked at Calvin, expecting to see a hurt expression, but instead, a stunned, then excited demeanor appeared.

"That's great! You haven't told old boy have you? I want this to be our baby, not anybody else's."

"That's not right, Calvin, I have to tell Jeremy. Keeping him away wouldn't be fair to him or the baby."

"What about us, Shanell? This is my gift from God, please don't take it away from me," he said. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me softly. I resisted at first, but then gave in to my husband's advances. He was once again acting like the man I had fallen in love with. Calvin removed my top. Then the temperature between my thighs rose as he freed first one breast, then the other from their restraint. He began to flick his warm, moist tongue across my nipples. The heat became even more prevalent when he slowly pushed up my skirt and felt around until he found the waistband of my panties. I spread my legs, inviting Calvin's probing hand into my hot opening.

I began to kiss my husband more passionately as he simultaneously helped me up and lead me to the middle seat of the van. We hadn't touched like that in more than a year and at that moment, I hoped that we would never be apart again. Calvin was pleased with the idea of being a father, even with the help of another man. I tried to think about what I was going to tell Jeremy, but when Calvin entered me, I had thoughts of no one else but him and how good it felt to have the old Calvin back.

We were about to start round two, after a short intermission, when someone banged on one of the van doors. I knew that I was very vocal sometimes and guessed that someone had heard my screams of pleasure. Angry because my mood had been ruined, I cracked open one of the doors, prepared to give the perpetrator a piece of my mind. When I looked out and saw that it was Jeremy, dressed in his uniform, I lost all train of thought. Shock, recognition and hurt were the emotions that showed on Jeremy's face. He didn't even issue us a citation for our little rendezvous; he just got into his cruiser and sped away.

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