Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and I only gave gifts to my dad and son. Even though I enjoyed seeing the smiles on their faces and chocolate around their mouths, it would have been even better to have a sweetie to spend time with.
I have a couple of guys in my life that like me as a friend and apparently nothing more, at least not on a regular basis. We talk on the phone, hang out sometimes, but that’s about it. They talk to me about the other chicks they’re dating like it shouldn’t bother me. I listen attentively for a while but abruptly change the subject once I have had enough. I always ask them if the chick is so low down, or mean, or selfish, or stuck up, why are they still with her? “I don’t know” is usually the answer. Or “One day I’m gonna get custody of my kids so she can pay me child support.” (Hmmm, shake my head.) From that statement, I determine that it’s obviously not the woman who has issues.
There’s a red t-shirt in the bottom of one of my dresser drawers. When I put it on “Single and Fabulous” sparkles in metallic silver lettering across my chest. Of course, when I bought the shirt I was on a strike from serious relationships. Five years later, I’ve outgrown the shirt both physically and mentally. I mean, I’m still single and I am beyond fabulous, but I’m not completely happy about it.
I would love to be with a guy that not only wants to be my friend but also my lover and companion; someone besides this 3 year old to snuggle up to at night.
Realistically, I know I may not be completely ready for a relationship because I’m a little crazy, but I’m working on it. In my 20s I was really nice and timid, but I’ve grown a little hair on my chest (not literally) in my 30s. My tolerance for foolishness is very low and I would have to be with a guy that really had his shhh together in order for me to be even half-way happy.
Being friends with a guy that I don’t like is okay if he doesn’t call or want to come by that much. If I really want to get with him, especially on those days when even his armpits smell good, I crave much more than conversation. Since the Lord is still working on me, I won’t rush and try to choose just any old dude. Don’t want to scar the poor guy for life with all of this malarkey, but boy when the time comes, oooo weee. Well that’s a story for another day.