Phone Tag

Why do you
Ask me for
My number
When you
Knew you would
Never use
It?

Those times when you
Do text,
it’s late
at night.

So I call
You early
The next day
and get your voicemail.

The only
thing we
Have in
Common are
Bedroom
Games.

Other than
That, nothing
Exists
No conversation
Unless we
Are about
To screw or
After we
Are through.

I need more than
That in my life so
when you’re
ready for the
real deal,
give me a
call when you
have some time
to kill.

The Death of My Computer

I am so sad...my computer died last night
I don't know why I was so upset
When I realized it.
I didn't write when I was supposed to.
No greeting cards or scrapbook pages
had been done in a while.
Sims and Diner Dash had been totally neglected.
But when I pushed the power button
and nothing happened, I cried.
All I could think about were all the things I could have done.
If only the computer would come on.
I switched out parts,
unplugged and re-plugged,
But still, nothing happened
and I'm really, truly sad.
When I get a new computer
I'm not going to neglect it.
I'm going to write until
my hands cramp.
I'm going to make greeting
cards for every day on the calendar.
I'll make a scrapbook with all
the crappy photos I didn't want
anyone to see.
And I'm going to play every
goddamn game on it including solitaire.
All praises due to the computer
and the folks that brought them into existence.
I don't know how I would function without you.

Overcoming My Fear of Public Speaking

When I was in school I was extremely shy, so whenever I had to do a presentation in front of the class, I nearly had a panic attack. I truly didn’t overcome my fear until I started working at IRS. The higher up the ranks, I’ve gone training other employees became one of my many duties. One-on-one training was fine, but I avoided classroom training like a guy with bad breath hides from Altoids until Dorothy, my manager at the time, forced me to do it. After a day or two of crying, begging, and a little bribing to get out of teaching, with no success of course, I finally gave in.

On the day first day of the four day class, I had all of handouts ready, the training books were on the tables, and I had a speech (of sorts) that I was going to use to introduce the class. I greeted everyone as they came into the room and exchanged ideal chit chat with those that I worked closely with. Everyone was all smiles and seemed happy to be there, including me, until I got to the front of the classroom.

When I addressed the group of 20, the voice trembling began. I asked a number of the students to read the material because I was practically speechless. As we went through the lesson, every question that I was asked, though I knew the answer, it was extremely hard for me help the class understand. The negative body language that I observed warned me to let the explanations go before I lost all of my creditability. Instead, I wrote down the questions and told the class that I would get back with them by the end of the day or the beginning of the next day at the latest.

At the end of the day, one of the people in my class called me over to them and said, “You did a good job for your first time. You’ll do better tomorrow,” then she handed me a sheet of paper. After reading the note Ms. Barbara handed me, I hugged her and quickly let the room.

That night I read over Ms Barbara’s note again, did some class instructional research on the internet, and prayed for confidence.

The next day, I had the answers to all of the questions from the day before typed up so I handed them out. As we went over the questions, I pretended that I was only addressing each person that had asked a question. My prayer kicked in when I began speaking freely to everyone like I had the first day when I greeted everyone as they came in.

Ms. Barbara’s note had helped me realize that talking to the entire group was really not much different than speaking to each person individually. After that training session, I have taught quite a few classes and have significantly improved with each one.

Last But Not Least

The Last Street Novel

Omar Tyree was one of the first African American authors I feel in love with in the early '90s. And this book right here will make the biggest critic fall in love with his no holds barred writing style.

Throughout this book, I kept questioning why I'm not writing full-time. And of course writing about subjects I care about like the main character, Shareef Crawford. This book is an inspiration to me and I think many people will benefit from these hard lessons taught from page one on.

A Moment in History

Title: God’s Moment
Author: Franklin Howard
Publisher: Publish America, August 2008
119 pages, Paperback, $19.95
ISBN: 1606103717
Genre: Fiction

Rating: 4 out of 5

Annie Hershey is a small town woman with big issues. Unfortunately, quite a few young women today can relate to her.

The beginning of the story shows Annie and her boyfriend, Jubal Tucker, on a train from Corinth, MS to her hometown of Starry, TN. A very deep conversation takes place over the crying of Annie’s one month old son, Robert.

Annie says to Jubal, “I wish we could keep ‘em. I’ve given all my udda kids away. I really wish we could keep ‘em. He’s da baby.”

Jubal says, “You can keep ‘em. But, if you do, I’m otta here. We don’t need no babies holdin’ us down. And besides, dat li’l bastard ain’t even mine.”

Annie looks at Jubal in a pissed-off way. Then she shoves a bottle in the baby’s mouth and looks out the train’s window.

Juanita Hamm, one of Annie’s adult children, is at the train station awaiting their arrival. It had been years since she had heard from her mother and had been excited ever since she received the telegram saying that Annie was coming to town.

Annie sees Juanita and grabs the baby and runs to the door of the train. She hands Juanita Lil’ Robert, smiles, and then returns to her seat. Juanita is stunned. She says nothing. She looks at her li’l brother she didn’t know she had. Juanita keeps her eyes on the train until it’s out of sight.

Back on the train:

Annie says, “I love you, Jubal, and I’ll do anythin’ you say.”

Jubal replies, “I know, baby. Dat li’l bastard will be all right.”

Annie says, “I know, baby.”

Wow! Now that’s cold, but the statistics show that the number of children raised by other family members has increased at an alarming rate since the Pre-Civil Rights Era this story takes place in.

We hear so much about the so-called “deadbeat” fathers, but society rarely shines the light on the “deadbeat” mothers that plague our society.

Throughout this book, you learn more about Juanita and her family as well as her other siblings. It’s quite possible that Annie’s children turned out a lot better than they would have if she had raised them, while continuing to live the life that she led.

The main setting of this novel is Starry, TN. Most of the characters escape small town living by moving to big cities like Detroit or volunteering to see the world by way of the military. I like the fact that this story is told using the language and dialect of many people in the south in a way that seeks to inform rather than offend.

You learn more about Annie’s interaction with her family in the last few chapters of the book. By the time I got to the end I felt a little better about Annie Hershey. The statement, “We all have sinned and come short of the glory of God,” came to mind. And I realized that even though Annie started off as a very selfish woman, it takes a big person to admit when she’s wrong and try to make amends. Every time she made things right and erased some of the pain from her children’s hearts, a “God’s Moment” took place. And oh what a glorious moment that can be.

Reviewed by Susie McCray, writer & poet
***
Susie McCray is the author of a poetry collection entitled, “See What I See”. She also writes short stories that can be found on various websites. For more info, visit her at www.susiemccray.com or www.myspace.com/suzy2quzy .