Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Breaking Generational Curses

A generational curse is negative behavior that is thought to have a hold on a family that is passed from generation to generation. If you try hard enough, you can break this vicious cycle of events and live a healthy, productive life.

There are all kinds of generational curses that people have to overcome, but here are some of the ones that plague my family.

• Some people are alcoholics because one or both of their parents were alcoholics.
• Some people abuse their children because they were abused as children.
• Some people may have grown up in a household where only one or two out of 10 kids actually made it past 9th grade, let alone graduated.
• Some people have to have their family reunions in jail in order for them to see their uncles, cousins and maybe even their daddy.

If you are 18, no I’ll give you a few more years. If you are 21 years old, you should NOT be blaming your crack-head mom, your absentee dad, or your touchy feely auntie for the way you act. Once you are grown and hopefully out of the house, you should be able to make your own choices in life. You should choose to be a better person, even if your family is full of … road apples.

I had a crazy life growing up but I used what I saw as a measuring stick, if I didn’t do all of the dumb things my folks did, I would live a decent life.

• Whatever dad did to get locked up, I wasn’t doing that.
• Whatever my mom went through that made her turn to drugs, I wasn’t dealing with that.
• Whatever my auntie drank to make her start fights with folks, I didn’t want any of that.
• Whatever my cousin did to have folks shooting at him, I was running from that.

I could easily just sit around and wallow in self-pity and whine about all of the things I didn’t have, all of the verbal abuse I suffered, all of the hoopla I witnessed or was forced to participate in. I could let all of the negativity consume me and keep me from rising above it all, but I choose not to.

• I chose not to drink my life away.
• I chose not to have a puff of smoke coming out of my mouth unless my hot breath is meeting the cold air.
• I chose not to beat the heck out of my son even if he needs it.
• I chose to finish high school and three years of college with plans to go back.
• I chose not to ever have to see the jail house unless I’m trying to pay a traffic ticket or to visit folks when I get the urge.

Yes, I know this is a cliché but it’s true—Prayer changes things. I don’t go to church like I should, but I have a relationship with my creator. If I didn’t have that relationship, I would probably be in the crazy house right now. There may be other ways to break free of a generational curse, but prayer was and continues to be my stronghold. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be like your mom or dad when you grow up, but you might have to sift through all of the mess and pick out the good parts of them and run with that.

Do you think there is a generational curse on your family? How do you plan to fight it?

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