Who's Your Ideal Mate?

image from pinterest.com

I read this blog today that basically stated that couples could improve their relationships if they had sex in the morning before they woke the kids up to get ready for school.  Sounds like a great plan to me and it would probably work if I were in a relationship.  Now, I'm not all that picky but I do have standards.

I know many people want their significant other to look a certain way, but to me that's not the most important thing. I'm like this--as long as the guy smells good, doesn't have "butter" on his teeth, doesn't weeze when he talks, and can bend over enough to tie his own shoes; it's all good. 

image from incrediblethings.com

One thing I absolutely cannot stand though is a guy that can't carry on a descent conversation. I have no patience for dum-dums. He could take a class, read a book or two, do something to gain some knowledge every once in a while. It's cool to talk about music and sports sometimes, but I need a guy that can be a little deeper than that. If he can't handle that he has to go. I can't fix stupid but I sure can get rid of him.

What do you do to keep the spice in your marriage or courtship (Who says that anymore?) Are you choosey?

Where Would You Like to Go?

My son wants to see 5 of the National Monuments but he's afraid to get on a plane.  If he thinks I'm going to drive that old Chevy all over the United States, he's got another think coming.  His suggestion was for us to buy a tour bus.  I think he meant RV but I don't plan on buying either one of them.

Here's the list in order of importance to my seven year old.  Only later did he ask how far away each one was.

• Gateway Arch - St Louis, MO
• Washington Monument - Washington, DC
• Empire State Building - New York, NY
• Sears Tower - Chicago, IL
• Space Needle - Seattle, WA

Last May we did drive to Missouri to see the Gateway Arch, but that was only six hours away.  We walked around inside for a while and I wanted to go up in this elevator thing that would take us to the top of the structure but old boy was scared.  So we just went to the gift shop and bought keychains and a coloring book.

I'm pretty sure it was my idea to go to the St Louis Zoo but Don had a better time. Probably because I didn't have on the right kind of shoes for walking.  That place was huge!!

We both enjoyed our hotel room immensely.  It felt good being in nice spot with a view.  Don enjoyed the fact that we shared a room.  That was the first time that he told me I was his best friend. Awwww

image from tripadvisor.com

This summer, he wants to go to Chicago.  I told him I wanted to go to Disney World but he got scared because he said he didn't want to get eaten by alligators. Oy Vey!!! I guess that means we're going to Sears Tower then.

What are some of the places you would like to visit? Do you only travel in the summer or different times of the year?

Cyber Family Time

When I'm not crocheting my fingers to the bone, with mountains of yarn scraps surrounding my desk chair, the kid and I have been making weekly YouTube videos. Haven't done too many natural hair videos lately because I've been wearing a lot of hats to work. You know, slick advertising and what not (and it's working, YES!).

I used to sneak and do my videos when the kid was asleep, sometimes I even did them in the car. But when I realized that having the kid's participation made for a better, more fun-filled video, I decided to include him. If he wasn't feeling to honery of course (which is hardly ever). He's been addicted to getting his picture taken since he came into the world so making videos was just a natural progression.

Of course, if he ever gets to the point where he doesn't want to be bothered, I completely understand. Hey I can be funny and entertaining all by myself. I don't need no cute little smart alek 4 year old to make my videos fantastic... Well, it wouldn't be as much fun. So I'm going to milk this for all it's worth. LOL

Hey, some people may think that I'm taking advantage of my son and using his cute face and silly antics for my own personal gain. You know what I say to that? Times is hard and the kid is going to have to get a job one day so he might as well figure out how to market his skills now.

{crickets}

It's not like he's really doing a whole lot. He's just being himself, which would be great for ratings if we were on a real tv show. But as it stands, he takes some of the pressure off of me when I'm attempting to make a not so boring show and tell type video for my crochet items.

Cyber family time is the new black.

Not sure what that means. It just sounded good in my head.

A Romantic Relationship ~ My Wants and My Role

A friend of mine asked me to write down what I want from a relationship and what I think my role should be. After reading, he agreed with some of the points and STRONGLY disagreed with some of the others. I expected that, so I was only bent out of shape a little.

What I want from a relationship…

Communication
I would like a man that I can share my feelings, ideas and interests with. I mean, I am not the type of person that just complains and whines about stuff for the heck of it. If I have a problem, I want to be able to talk to my man about it without him making me feel like its frivolous. I want my man to feel he can share whatever is on his mind with me as well. I’m pretty open-minded. (I’ll try my best to refrain from making any of my signature facial expressions as he bears his sole.) I want my man and I to be each other’s #1 fan. Whether laughing and joking or engaging in a serious discussion, I would like for both of us to be able to speak freely and honestly, yet respectfully. I am not a mind reader and I don’t expect my man to be one either. If we don’t let each other know our likes and dislikes we’ll probably end up with more sad or angry times than happy ones.

Friendship/Quality Time
I believe friendship is a very important part of a relationship. If I can barely stand to be around the guy or only want to be around him when I need something (or want something) what’s the point? Going out and having a nice time is good, but as long as we can spend some kind of quality time together, I’m happy.

Intimacy
Sex is great! (I’ll get into more detail about that in a moment.) Being talked softly to or touched gently (or roughly, depending on my mood) would bring me to climax a lot quicker than someone just ramming into me and saying “let me know when you get one”. (More times than not, I end up lying to Mr. Wambam and pretending I got one but…anyway.) I like kissing and being kissed. I like touching and being touched. I like hugging and being hugged. Well, you get the picture. I’m touchy feely most of the time. And I like being around someone who treats me like he really wants me.

Sex
Like I mentioned before, sex is great. I like having sex. Some may call it being a freak or a nympho but of course women are usually branded negatively by those names. I don’t see anything wrong with a woman that has a big sexual appetite but hey that’s my opinion. I do realize that the older people get, the less their desire for sex becomes. Sometimes health issues make having sex nearly impossible. In my opinion, as long as the intimacy is there, my sexual appetite will be pretty much satisfied because there is definitely more than one way to get the job done.

What is my role as the woman?

As the woman, I do believe that I should allow the man to be the man in the relationship. I would like to be given the opportunity to express my feelings about something but I do realize that the final decision should be the man’s. Even though this is my philosophy in my head, I have rarely had the opportunity to let this philosophy manifest within my relationships. Most men these days don’t know how to be men which made me have to step up and practically play both roles until I got fed up and called it quits. I believe in supporting my man but not to the point of taking care of him, unless he’s sick. I mean I don’t mind “helping a brother out” but when his needs attempt to outweigh my needs or the needs of my child that is definitely a “hold up, wait a minute” moment. I will respect my man both in public as well as in private. I do not believe in “busting folks out” in front of friends, family or complete strangers. I do try to do things to put a smile on my man’s face. I used to use the term “make him happy” but if he is not happy with himself, nothing I say or do will make him happy. Hopefully whatever I do for him will add to the happiness he already possesses.

In conclusion…

Sometimes I do have a smart mouth but that has come with age, as the result of the people that I have been around and my experiences. If I come across disrespectful that is not my intention. It is more of a defense mechanism. I spent too many years following the wrong people blindly (and silently). With a little time, I can change my negative way of thinking and try to focus on developing a more positive outlook on relationships and life in general. I believe that I am a good woman who has just been hurt more times than I care to mention. I am not stupid. I can recognize a good man when I see him, even if I do have to overlook certain personality traits and deal with some things that I am not used to in order to reap the benefits of a relationship with that good man.

Phone Tag

Why do you
Ask me for
My number
When you
Knew you would
Never use
It?

Those times when you
Do text,
it’s late
at night.

So I call
You early
The next day
and get your voicemail.

The only
thing we
Have in
Common are
Bedroom
Games.

Other than
That, nothing
Exists
No conversation
Unless we
Are about
To screw or
After we
Are through.

I need more than
That in my life so
when you’re
ready for the
real deal,
give me a
call when you
have some time
to kill.