I'm Officially a Basketball Fan

Over the years, I knew just enough about basketball to know a lot of the top players, what team they played for and what the team colors and mascots were.  Even with all that knowledge, I never really paid attention to the games.  Tonight I went to my very first professional basketball game and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

My son always talks about football so I didn't think he would like the game that much but he surprised me.  He was asking when we would be able to go back.  When I told him I didn't know, he said, "We can go next month." HA!! That boy swears he's the boss of me.

We went to the game with some old friends of mine including, Reese, whom I always said should have been my husband but he ended up being one of my best friends instead.  He and I had so much in common that it was like we were brother and sister or at least cousins.  I guess it's a good thing that we didn't get married because I don't think I would have been able to put up with a male version of myself.  

It felt good to see the home team win my first time going, that made the experience extra special.  Thanks to Reese's sister, Quita, for inviting me.  Lil dude and I had a great time.

Don't Wear Your Welcome Out

I have mixed feelings about people having their single friends and relatives around all the time when they are in a relationship or married. I mean, if a person is a cheater they are gonna cheat but I don’t want to give them opportunity to do it right under my nose. This sounds kind of crazy and paranoid but let me explain.


This guy I know told me that he and his live-in girlfriend hardly ever have time for just them or just them and the kids. His girl always had her single sisters, cousins or girlfriends over to the house or Ty and she would go over one of the single lady’s houses. He said that at any given time, one of the ladies would bend over in front of him or make a big production of lifting up their blouses when they pull their pants up. One actually said, “He better not sit by me cause I might have to take him from you.” He finds it flattering in a way, but the subtle and outright advances also make Ty uncomfortable. He feels his girl brings him around her family & friends to rub the fact that she has a man in their faces. From what he’s told me about her, I’m sure he’s right. I kind of laughed to myself thinking of him as a trophy boyfriend. I told him if he didn’t want to be around the ladies all the time that he should tell his girl. If he didn’t have the guts to tell her, I told him to just grin and bear it, making sure he kept his hands and other body parts to himself.

I’m a hugger, and this one guy that I lived with a while ago used to bring his friends over and I would hug them when they came in and when they left. I mean I hug folks at work all the time so it wasn’t because I wanted to do them, that’s just how I greet people that I’m cool with. One day my boyfriend told me to stop hugging his friends because they might want to screw me. I looked at him like he was crazy because I didn’t know they thought of me in that way. To keep down confusion, I just said hello when they came in and went into my bedroom until they left. Of course then he said they thought I was acting anti-social so they started meeting at his brother’s place. *Shaking my head*

When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I had friends that were married. They were ladies from my church that I used to like to be around because they told me stories about their lives before they became saved, sanctified and filled with the Holy Ghost. Some of those chicks were really something else, Playboy bunnies and everything. At least that’s what they told me. Anyway, I would hang around them most of the day, but when their husbands came home I would leave. I mean I wouldn’t just rudely jump up when they guys walked into the house. I would have maybe a five or ten minute conversation with them and then I would make my exit. At that age, I had sense enough to know that hey, this guy has been gone all day and he probably missed his wife. He may have wanted to spend some time alone with her or his wife may have wanted some “special” time with him that couldn’t wait until bed time.

I’ve known a number of friends and relatives that have slept with their friends’ mates and it caused and still causes nothing but confusion. I mean, if you’re having a dinner party or some other type of get together, it’s cool to have people over to the house, whether single or married. I just don’t think that folks should just be camping out at your place like it’s a bachelor’s or bachelorette’s pad when you have a significant other.

This is just my opinion, I could be wrong. What’s your viewpoint?

Friend Zone

Don’t let a love interest put you in the friend zone that is if you hope it will get serious one day. Once you are put in the friend zone it’s hard to be anything else in the eyes of the person you are interested in.

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and I only gave gifts to my dad and son. Even though I enjoyed seeing the smiles on their faces and chocolate around their mouths, it would have been even better to have a sweetie to spend time with.

I have a couple of guys in my life that like me as a friend and apparently nothing more, at least not on a regular basis. We talk on the phone, hang out sometimes, but that’s about it. They talk to me about the other chicks they’re dating like it shouldn’t bother me. I listen attentively for a while but abruptly change the subject once I have had enough. I always ask them if the chick is so low down, or mean, or selfish, or stuck up, why are they still with her? “I don’t know” is usually the answer. Or “One day I’m gonna get custody of my kids so she can pay me child support.” (Hmmm, shake my head.) From that statement, I determine that it’s obviously not the woman who has issues.

There’s a red t-shirt in the bottom of one of my dresser drawers. When I put it on “Single and Fabulous” sparkles in metallic silver lettering across my chest. Of course, when I bought the shirt I was on a strike from serious relationships. Five years later, I’ve outgrown the shirt both physically and mentally. I mean, I’m still single and I am beyond fabulous, but I’m not completely happy about it.

I would love to be with a guy that not only wants to be my friend but also my lover and companion; someone besides this 3 year old to snuggle up to at night.
Realistically, I know I may not be completely ready for a relationship because I’m a little crazy, but I’m working on it. In my 20s I was really nice and timid, but I’ve grown a little hair on my chest (not literally) in my 30s. My tolerance for foolishness is very low and I would have to be with a guy that really had his shhh together in order for me to be even half-way happy.

Being friends with a guy that I don’t like is okay if he doesn’t call or want to come by that much. If I really want to get with him, especially on those days when even his armpits smell good, I crave much more than conversation. Since the Lord is still working on me, I won’t rush and try to choose just any old dude. Don’t want to scar the poor guy for life with all of this malarkey, but boy when the time comes, oooo weee. Well that’s a story for another day.

The Day After

This Christmas wasn't all that eventful. D got a bunch of toys that are already on their last leg and daddy and I stuffed our faces until he fell asleep and I sat comatose on the couch. My baby sister and neice were at their moms' houses so I left their presents with my dad. Dad's laptop came two weeks ago so he wasn't expecting anything else--and I didn't have anything else to give him. And since I had already opened the presents I got from my co-workers, there was nothing for me under the tree.

I'm thinking next year--if I don't have a boyfriend--I may leave D with my dad and go out of town for Christmas. I'm not sure how my dad would feel about that but I'll run it by him and see what he says. I haven't left the tri-state area (Tennessee, Mississippi and Arkansas) in more than a year and I'm getting antsy. My friends Janel (@soulwindow), Shannon (@youngshay112 ) and I may catch a flight to Vegas next year. Although I'm not sure if that's a good idea with the airports being so crowded around this time of year. But of course that will be just part of the experience. (shrug)

Tomorrow will be my first day back to work in almost a week and I am not looking forward to it. I feel like a kid that hates to go back to school after Christmas because they have no cool clothes or toys to show their friends. Maybe next year will be better.

Poetry for Your Senses

I finally got a chance to launch the poetry blog that I had been talking about for months. The name of it is Poetry for Your Senses. I chose that name because I like to write pieces that appeal to the readers 5 sensory senses (sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell) as well as their common sense.

Before deciding to create Poetry for Your Senses, I had mostly posted my work on MySpace, Facebook and a few here on this blog. Sometimes I even tweeted a few lines just to see what type of response I would get (It was favorable, I might add.)

The subject matters of my poems are basically the same as my other writing: relationship, family, friendship, and of course the love of writing.

Some of the poems on the blog will come from my book, See What I See, and the others from a work in progress titled, How Does It Feel. I would love to know what you think of my poetry so please, feel free to comment. All feedback is good feedback in my book.

Life Got in the Way

This poem is dedicated to my best friend. Even though we've known each other 10 years, it feels as if we've been friends all of our lives.

We met through mutual
friends and have been
through thick and thin
ever since.

What happened to
those days when
we could go out
and treat
each other to dinner
even when we
had no dates
to double with?

But now that I
think about it,
sick parents,
needy children,
and job responsibilities
took center stage
in both of our lives.

Phone calls and emails
are the only way
we communicate
these days, because life
now dictates our
free time.